Boy are our kids growing up in different times than us or what?! I woke up late this morning. I don't know why I turned off the alarm and went back to sleep for another hour but that’s what I did. I immediately started trying to get the kid up I pulled my hair back and twisted it in an updo because I already making the decision to not shower.
20 minutes later she is standing in front of her closet with the same outfit she originally put on just staring at her clothes.
“You have FIVE minutes to brush your teeth, comb your hair, and get breakfast!”
“Can I wear your Uggs?”
“I don’t know what ever lead you to think there is still hope with that one. Maybe you should try imagining outfits put together without my Uggs. You have your own, 2 pairs in fact! Pretend my Uggs don’t exist in this house because in your life, they really don’t.”
“But my Uggs don’t match.”
“And I care because…?!”
5 minutes later, after brushing her teeth and all that, she is back staring at her closet
“Ok what is the problem?”
“I don’t have shoes that match.”
“Your black Chucks, duh?!”
“I don’t want to wear them?”
“Why not? They match.”
“I wore them like 3 days ago.”
“Are you fucking shitting me? Put your black Chucks on and lets go NOW!”
2 minutes later, she’s just putting her socks on.
“Look you better put your socks on, put your damn shoes on, grab your backpack and start walking out this door!”
“Uhhhh…okay?”
“Girl I will slap that fucking tone out your face!”
She reaches into a shoebox and pulls out her YELLOW Chucks.
I proceed to tell her that maybe she needs to take her shoes out of the damn boxes so she can see what she has because if she had remembered she had yellow Chucks to go with her yellow checkered shirt we could have avoided this drama.
On the drive to work I start feeling guilty, not for how I acted necessarily but for the curse words I used. I shouldn’t be cursing at her. I can still tear her ass apart without using profanity. I try to call her but she didn’t answer so I started thinking…these kids are too damn spoiled!
When I was little I didn’t have the option of staring into my closet or what shoes to wear or not wanting to wear the same shoes back to back. Those were not choices I had. I had nothing in the closet. I had a pair of black kung-fu shoes my folks bought from Chinatown and a pair of jelly shoes probably from the Vietnamese store next to the Chinese store in Chinatown.
When I was a teenager and started working and buying myself clothes it was still nowhere near what my kid has now. Even then I wasn’t staring at my closet trying to figure out what would be cool today. I was trying to figure out how am I going to stretch out 5 outfits in 2 weeks.
Her attitude stinks, she’s a spoiled ass brat, and she doesn’t appreciate anything. But she’s just a 10 year old girl. Regardless if this generation of kids mature at a younger age or not I can’t expect her to be exactly how I am now at almost 30. It took just about till now for me to build self confidence and stop the whole thing of staring in my closet and taking an hour to figure out what to wear. Well either its either one of the 3 of self confidence, or I just plain don’t give a damn anymore, or I’m too anal about creating a mess that I don’t want clothes to pile up. Anyhow, the kid is 10 and I need to stop the cursing and stop being so short tempered with her. Its not her fault she don't know how to act or that she's a freakin diva...I'm the one teaching her so what does that say about me?!
But if I could give you one advice from today’s experience its this…stick with the Chinatown kung-fu and jelly shoes!!!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Running
We’ve had some lovely days out so in all consideration to my cooped up daughter and the little pup I thought I’d skip running during my lunch hour so that I can take them out on the trail after work.
Day 1.
Seward Park. I tell the kid to bring her bike or her Razor and don’t forget her inhaler. She forgets everything but as it turns out the puppy had a choking episode so we left. An hour later we run errands close by the Cedar River Trail so I attempt to try again. Well the puppy isn’t trained to well on the leash and the kid starts having difficulty breathing so no running for me today.
Day 2
Long day at work, skipped lunch, I try to convince the kid to stay home in the evening while I run but she insists she can do it with me. I know she can’t, even with her inhaler, but she made me feel guilty for doubting her. A parent is not supposed to doubt their child! I tell her to bring the bike but she won’t listen and brings her Razor instead. A quarter of the way through the trail we are finding out that the Razor is harder work than you think, you might as well just run, well that’s if you didn’t have asthma. We walk back and I get upset thinking to myself so I decide to leave them in the car, turn on the alarm, and tell her to give me 25 minutes. The kid questions if I can run it in 25 minutes which upsets me even more as I’m realizing I should’ve just left their asses at home because not only would I have been back home by now to take them to the park and avoided this whole fiasco, but why the hell do I let this 10 year old question my knowledge and authority?! Finally I have a good run. Whew. Back at the car I find her texting and ask if she was telling her friends, “OMG my mom is like trippin, she’s so mean, I hate her…etc…” She admits and we laugh.
Day 3
The kid goes to a sleepover party, I run the trail with the puppy after work. The puppy needs to learn to run at my pace before I choke the crap out of him. I refuse to let him dominate me!
Day 4
Slightly hungover, no running.
Day 5
Soccer game by Greenlake. I know I’m not going to be able to run with the kids, I don’t expect to have a good run, I don’t expect to even go halfway around Greenlake, but we might as well walk what we can on this beautiful day since we’re already here. The kid was great, ran/walked the whole trail and was very proud of herself, as was I. The puppy, however, was a horror! There’s just too much going on at Greenlake for him to focus.
Jeesh, forget all this. Its just not worth it. Back to the treadmill I go.
Day 1.
Seward Park. I tell the kid to bring her bike or her Razor and don’t forget her inhaler. She forgets everything but as it turns out the puppy had a choking episode so we left. An hour later we run errands close by the Cedar River Trail so I attempt to try again. Well the puppy isn’t trained to well on the leash and the kid starts having difficulty breathing so no running for me today.
Day 2
Long day at work, skipped lunch, I try to convince the kid to stay home in the evening while I run but she insists she can do it with me. I know she can’t, even with her inhaler, but she made me feel guilty for doubting her. A parent is not supposed to doubt their child! I tell her to bring the bike but she won’t listen and brings her Razor instead. A quarter of the way through the trail we are finding out that the Razor is harder work than you think, you might as well just run, well that’s if you didn’t have asthma. We walk back and I get upset thinking to myself so I decide to leave them in the car, turn on the alarm, and tell her to give me 25 minutes. The kid questions if I can run it in 25 minutes which upsets me even more as I’m realizing I should’ve just left their asses at home because not only would I have been back home by now to take them to the park and avoided this whole fiasco, but why the hell do I let this 10 year old question my knowledge and authority?! Finally I have a good run. Whew. Back at the car I find her texting and ask if she was telling her friends, “OMG my mom is like trippin, she’s so mean, I hate her…etc…” She admits and we laugh.
Day 3
The kid goes to a sleepover party, I run the trail with the puppy after work. The puppy needs to learn to run at my pace before I choke the crap out of him. I refuse to let him dominate me!
Day 4
Slightly hungover, no running.
Day 5
Soccer game by Greenlake. I know I’m not going to be able to run with the kids, I don’t expect to have a good run, I don’t expect to even go halfway around Greenlake, but we might as well walk what we can on this beautiful day since we’re already here. The kid was great, ran/walked the whole trail and was very proud of herself, as was I. The puppy, however, was a horror! There’s just too much going on at Greenlake for him to focus.
Jeesh, forget all this. Its just not worth it. Back to the treadmill I go.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Liquid Cocaine
I visited my brother in Chicago a few years ago where his friends took me out and introduced me to a shot called Liquid Cocaine. I probably took a total of 3 shots accompanied by other mixed drinks throughout the night and ended throwing up on the front porch and trying to convince them to let me sleep outside. Humiliating.
When I came back to Seattle someone informed me that Liquid Cocaine usually consists of either 151 or Everclear. Never had the drink since nor have I seen or heard anyone order the drink since.
This past Saturday night we prefunked with 100 proof Vodka (my girl got a bottle as a gift and I swear I’m not an alcoholic). On the drive out I’m feeling good, my girl told me its 100 proof so I limited myself to just 3 shots and I’m feeling like this is the way drinking super hard liqs should be…you should be informed of the shit you are about to get into so you can make a responsible decision…or not.
In the car ride I told the girls my Liquid Cocaine story and ask, “Why on earth would a human being want to mess another human being up like that on purpose? Why would you not tell someone that the stuff is 150 proof so they can be more responsible with how many they consume?!!! What kind of person does that to someone?!”
My girl replies, “Girl, its called “Liquid Cocaine,” it never occurred to you to ask what was in it?”
Damn I’m stupid!
So we’re get to the Parlor and I’m hating it because security keeps telling people where to stand, where not to stand, how much we can drink, how much we can’t drink, where we can or can’t stand with a drink in hand...the place is annoyingly ridiculous. But its a birthday so I’m frequenting the bar and while I’m ordering another round of drinks my girl tells me to add to the order, none other than, a Liquid Cocaine.
I thought she was joking after I just told her my ugly experience with it but she laughed and told me seriously this dude with us wanted it. I turned around looking like a crazy bitch, looked this dude up and down and asked if he knew what was in a Liquid Cocaine, he said yes and this wasn’t his first one of the night…so I ordered the shots, bottoms up, and good luck you crazy mf’er!
But why was it I that was dead sick the next day?! I spent a total of 18 hours in bed. I’m getting too old for this!
When I came back to Seattle someone informed me that Liquid Cocaine usually consists of either 151 or Everclear. Never had the drink since nor have I seen or heard anyone order the drink since.
This past Saturday night we prefunked with 100 proof Vodka (my girl got a bottle as a gift and I swear I’m not an alcoholic). On the drive out I’m feeling good, my girl told me its 100 proof so I limited myself to just 3 shots and I’m feeling like this is the way drinking super hard liqs should be…you should be informed of the shit you are about to get into so you can make a responsible decision…or not.
In the car ride I told the girls my Liquid Cocaine story and ask, “Why on earth would a human being want to mess another human being up like that on purpose? Why would you not tell someone that the stuff is 150 proof so they can be more responsible with how many they consume?!!! What kind of person does that to someone?!”
My girl replies, “Girl, its called “Liquid Cocaine,” it never occurred to you to ask what was in it?”
Damn I’m stupid!
So we’re get to the Parlor and I’m hating it because security keeps telling people where to stand, where not to stand, how much we can drink, how much we can’t drink, where we can or can’t stand with a drink in hand...the place is annoyingly ridiculous. But its a birthday so I’m frequenting the bar and while I’m ordering another round of drinks my girl tells me to add to the order, none other than, a Liquid Cocaine.
I thought she was joking after I just told her my ugly experience with it but she laughed and told me seriously this dude with us wanted it. I turned around looking like a crazy bitch, looked this dude up and down and asked if he knew what was in a Liquid Cocaine, he said yes and this wasn’t his first one of the night…so I ordered the shots, bottoms up, and good luck you crazy mf’er!
But why was it I that was dead sick the next day?! I spent a total of 18 hours in bed. I’m getting too old for this!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Black Pumps Part Deux
Damn, if it wasn't for the metal of the heels that caused me to almost slip in the Hyatt today and embarassingly walking by CEO's with an irregular "CLICK, CLICK, CLICK," I would still wear these.
Alright, alright, I wore the crap out of these well beyond my $30's worth. Its time to get a new pair...
Alright, alright, I wore the crap out of these well beyond my $30's worth. Its time to get a new pair...
Friday, February 20, 2009
Provoke
Theres a boy at the kid’s school who’s mom has passed and dad (whom he’s never met or corresponded with) is in prison for life. This boy has obvious anger issues and has had many incidents at school.
This was my kid’s story…she was stabbed in the arm with a pencil so hard it went through her sweater and she has a hole in her arm. It hurts but she’s ok. She thinks the boy got suspended and how it happened was that back in September when they went to their class camping trip, she accidentally bumped into him and he fell in front of everyone. He remembered that last week out of nowhere, walked up to her and stabbed her with a pencil.
I spent the evening ready to kill someone, cursing the little bastard, threatening to beat the kid’s ass myself or lock his little punk ass up for assault. My kid was worried I would embarrass her and asked if she could change schools. I should’ve known then…
It was a Wednesday night, baby’s daddy calls on Wednesday nights. I contemplated telling him because if I’m heated as hell I can imagine how he would feel behind bars unable to do anything. The kid wanted to tell him regardless and without remembering that he would be able to relate to and sympathize with a kid like that, I let her. His reaction, ”Let’s pray for him.”
Damn it!!! I wanted to remain pissed off but the walls started to come down and I told the kid and her father that I would go to the school tomorrow and not only check on what consequences the boy received but if he was getting counseling, support, etc… I told my kid that if touches her again she better kick his ass in the nuts but if he tries to pick on her otherwise maybe she can turn things around by saying, “Hey, I know what its like to have a dad in prison for life too so if you need someone to talk to about it...”
Next morning, I roll up in her school with my game face on ready to tackle on the horrendous event that has occurred to my poor innocent little princess. Errr, turns out baby girl ain’t all that innocent. The principal told me that in no situation should a kid physically harm anyone else but my daughter has a history of provoking someone to respond negatively, this is not the first time and she really hopes my daughter has learned her lesson provoking someone who obviously has anger issues. SHE was picking on him. The story about camp was true way back when but that had nothing to do with him stabbing her with a pencil last week. Her seat is way on the other side of the room of his but she was over at his desk messing with his school supplies.
Either my kid has a really strong personality (which she does) and gets away with being an asshole so much (which she does) or she has really low self esteem issues. The low esteem issue is hard for me to swallow because I see her as such a strong, pretty, and smart girl. But I have to remember that as tough as I try to raise her, her dad is in prison for life, mommy’s guy that pretty much raised her has been only in and out of our lives with is confused self the past few years, she’s got all kinds of bad personality genetics, man all kinds of things could be wrong with her. Shit I don’t know but damn it to hell, she’s one of THOSE girls…the mean girls, the clique, snob bullies.
“Girl do you know what provoke means?”
“Yes. But MOM!!! If the other kids wouldn'tve told him I was messing with his stuff, he would've never known. Kids are snitches!”
“OH HELLZ NO you didn't!" (I printed out the definition of “provoke” and made her read it 5 times out loud.)
“Provoke (verb) to cause (a person) to become annoyed or angry. To bring about a reaction. To egg on. To evoke. To incite. To induce. To instigate. To invoke. To set off. To stir up. To whip up.”
“Now let me ask you again, do you understand what provoke means?”
“Yes Mom.”
“Well let me tell you what happens when you provoke someone with anger problems, you get STABBED in the arm!!! Girl I hoped to God I didn’t raise you to be an asshole, but if you’re going to be an asshole behind my back, and you’re going to be an asshole to the wrong person, at least be real about it, don’t make a fool out of me cause I come out with blades thinking you’re oh so innocent, and when someone STABS you cause you were an asshole…defend yourself for goodness sakes, give him one in the jaw or something!!!”
This was my kid’s story…she was stabbed in the arm with a pencil so hard it went through her sweater and she has a hole in her arm. It hurts but she’s ok. She thinks the boy got suspended and how it happened was that back in September when they went to their class camping trip, she accidentally bumped into him and he fell in front of everyone. He remembered that last week out of nowhere, walked up to her and stabbed her with a pencil.
I spent the evening ready to kill someone, cursing the little bastard, threatening to beat the kid’s ass myself or lock his little punk ass up for assault. My kid was worried I would embarrass her and asked if she could change schools. I should’ve known then…
It was a Wednesday night, baby’s daddy calls on Wednesday nights. I contemplated telling him because if I’m heated as hell I can imagine how he would feel behind bars unable to do anything. The kid wanted to tell him regardless and without remembering that he would be able to relate to and sympathize with a kid like that, I let her. His reaction, ”Let’s pray for him.”
Damn it!!! I wanted to remain pissed off but the walls started to come down and I told the kid and her father that I would go to the school tomorrow and not only check on what consequences the boy received but if he was getting counseling, support, etc… I told my kid that if touches her again she better kick his ass in the nuts but if he tries to pick on her otherwise maybe she can turn things around by saying, “Hey, I know what its like to have a dad in prison for life too so if you need someone to talk to about it...”
Next morning, I roll up in her school with my game face on ready to tackle on the horrendous event that has occurred to my poor innocent little princess. Errr, turns out baby girl ain’t all that innocent. The principal told me that in no situation should a kid physically harm anyone else but my daughter has a history of provoking someone to respond negatively, this is not the first time and she really hopes my daughter has learned her lesson provoking someone who obviously has anger issues. SHE was picking on him. The story about camp was true way back when but that had nothing to do with him stabbing her with a pencil last week. Her seat is way on the other side of the room of his but she was over at his desk messing with his school supplies.
Either my kid has a really strong personality (which she does) and gets away with being an asshole so much (which she does) or she has really low self esteem issues. The low esteem issue is hard for me to swallow because I see her as such a strong, pretty, and smart girl. But I have to remember that as tough as I try to raise her, her dad is in prison for life, mommy’s guy that pretty much raised her has been only in and out of our lives with is confused self the past few years, she’s got all kinds of bad personality genetics, man all kinds of things could be wrong with her. Shit I don’t know but damn it to hell, she’s one of THOSE girls…the mean girls, the clique, snob bullies.
“Girl do you know what provoke means?”
“Yes. But MOM!!! If the other kids wouldn'tve told him I was messing with his stuff, he would've never known. Kids are snitches!”
“OH HELLZ NO you didn't!" (I printed out the definition of “provoke” and made her read it 5 times out loud.)
“Provoke (verb) to cause (a person) to become annoyed or angry. To bring about a reaction. To egg on. To evoke. To incite. To induce. To instigate. To invoke. To set off. To stir up. To whip up.”
“Now let me ask you again, do you understand what provoke means?”
“Yes Mom.”
“Well let me tell you what happens when you provoke someone with anger problems, you get STABBED in the arm!!! Girl I hoped to God I didn’t raise you to be an asshole, but if you’re going to be an asshole behind my back, and you’re going to be an asshole to the wrong person, at least be real about it, don’t make a fool out of me cause I come out with blades thinking you’re oh so innocent, and when someone STABS you cause you were an asshole…defend yourself for goodness sakes, give him one in the jaw or something!!!”
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Vicodin
I was prescribed Vicodin for pain. I don’t like taking drugs, don’t like pills, meds, whatever…I don’t like remedies. Even the birth of my child was natural, cause I’m a G like that. No seriously though, the only thing I take is birth control and if you’ve read the previous blog you know why I make the exception.
Maybe I like to just soak in pain, maybe I have a fear of swallowing pills, I don’t know but whatever the case I know I prefer alcohol because I’m a control freak. A person can control how much they consume therefore a person can control about how long the effects lasts. Alcohol, however, only (temporarily) soothes emotions.
Like I said, I was prescribed Vicodin for pain. Physical pain. And looking at that bottle on the first day, being in good hands, having the day off from work, blah, blah, blah…ehh…seemed like an ok idea. Well that day was a blur, I was in and out of sleep, whatever, whatever…I did not like it. That was one week ago. Within the week after I’ve been adding to injury doing a shit load of reconstructing my mom’s house. I needed assistance to help my mind and body shut down in order for me to recharge my batteries and looking at that bottle, I thought I’d give it another shot.
Popped one and lay down with Freecell on my phone in hand. 10 minutes later my muscles start to relax so I log off and turn off the lights. Worst sleep ever!!!
Nightmare #1
The ex/guy/whatever (shit maybe someday I’ll have a permanent term for him) was cheating on me.
Nightmare #2
My kid was being attacked.
Nightmare #3
I was being attacked and Bruce Lee was my protector but even Bruce Lee got his head chopped off Samurai style by this guy, his head was lying in the ditch next to me and I was praying my kung fu skills was enough to save myself.
WTF???
I woke up in a panic and couldn’t possibly go back to sleep but my arms, legs, everything was freaking glued to my bed. Could not move. At all
No more Vicodin!!!
Maybe I like to just soak in pain, maybe I have a fear of swallowing pills, I don’t know but whatever the case I know I prefer alcohol because I’m a control freak. A person can control how much they consume therefore a person can control about how long the effects lasts. Alcohol, however, only (temporarily) soothes emotions.
Like I said, I was prescribed Vicodin for pain. Physical pain. And looking at that bottle on the first day, being in good hands, having the day off from work, blah, blah, blah…ehh…seemed like an ok idea. Well that day was a blur, I was in and out of sleep, whatever, whatever…I did not like it. That was one week ago. Within the week after I’ve been adding to injury doing a shit load of reconstructing my mom’s house. I needed assistance to help my mind and body shut down in order for me to recharge my batteries and looking at that bottle, I thought I’d give it another shot.
Popped one and lay down with Freecell on my phone in hand. 10 minutes later my muscles start to relax so I log off and turn off the lights. Worst sleep ever!!!
Nightmare #1
The ex/guy/whatever (shit maybe someday I’ll have a permanent term for him) was cheating on me.
Nightmare #2
My kid was being attacked.
Nightmare #3
I was being attacked and Bruce Lee was my protector but even Bruce Lee got his head chopped off Samurai style by this guy, his head was lying in the ditch next to me and I was praying my kung fu skills was enough to save myself.
WTF???
I woke up in a panic and couldn’t possibly go back to sleep but my arms, legs, everything was freaking glued to my bed. Could not move. At all
No more Vicodin!!!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Birth Control
I told the kid to not just clean up her room, but clean it properly. That turned into an argument because I don’t like the way she responds to me. She slammed her bedroom door and screamed, “Bitch!” My initial instinct was to kick her ass but I might not know when to stop so I took a deep breath and banned her from all electronic usage. I went in later and tried to talk to her but she mentioned something about wanting to run away so I told her I’m tired of her mouth and I wish she would. She said she needed to save some money first.
Oh, ok, well since I’m such a horrible mother why don’t you just stay in your room until you’ve got enough then. Otherwise come out when you’re ready to show me my moneys worth in neat stacks and organized drawers.
Damn, at least I know where she gets her fast mouth and smart remarks from.
Lord, all because I told her to clean her room properly. This parenting thing is starting to take a bad and nasty turn and I can see how people say “Fuck it and fuck you!” I’m not saying that’s what I’m saying, it sure would be easy, but I'm not really an asshole. It took me a quick pep talk though to convince myself that this devil is really my kid, I birthed her and gave her life and by God I'm going to do this shit right.
First I cursed my baby daddy for leaving me to do this alone, then I realized playing that old song never did help. Then I had flashbacks of my parents raising me and eh, that wasn’t so great either. Well I guess I’m just going to have to make up my own rules and figure this out….
so I sat in the living room and cried. She came out and asked me whats wrong and I screamed, “YOU!!!” She knew she was wrong, she can't control her hormones and I understand, it doesn't mean I won't really beat your ass someday but in the end, I'm a woman and I understand. We talked a bit, then I told her to get me a bowl of lycee ice cream and that was that.
Gosh I've always been pro-life and pro-families and all that good stuff but these days...birth control man, BIRTH CONTROL!!!
Oh, ok, well since I’m such a horrible mother why don’t you just stay in your room until you’ve got enough then. Otherwise come out when you’re ready to show me my moneys worth in neat stacks and organized drawers.
Damn, at least I know where she gets her fast mouth and smart remarks from.
Lord, all because I told her to clean her room properly. This parenting thing is starting to take a bad and nasty turn and I can see how people say “Fuck it and fuck you!” I’m not saying that’s what I’m saying, it sure would be easy, but I'm not really an asshole. It took me a quick pep talk though to convince myself that this devil is really my kid, I birthed her and gave her life and by God I'm going to do this shit right.
First I cursed my baby daddy for leaving me to do this alone, then I realized playing that old song never did help. Then I had flashbacks of my parents raising me and eh, that wasn’t so great either. Well I guess I’m just going to have to make up my own rules and figure this out….
so I sat in the living room and cried. She came out and asked me whats wrong and I screamed, “YOU!!!” She knew she was wrong, she can't control her hormones and I understand, it doesn't mean I won't really beat your ass someday but in the end, I'm a woman and I understand. We talked a bit, then I told her to get me a bowl of lycee ice cream and that was that.
Gosh I've always been pro-life and pro-families and all that good stuff but these days...birth control man, BIRTH CONTROL!!!
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